I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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