I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
