omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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