So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
