considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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