is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
