And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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