proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
