it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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