Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
