When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
