I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
