If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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