He uses pillows to masturbate.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This house was built for laser tag.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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