shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
