She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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