Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
this just has baby written all over it
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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