youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just cropdusted the office
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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