That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Panties = found
Randomize
