Who wears a wallet chain?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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