either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
