I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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