Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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