your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
