did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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