he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
