that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Congratulations! We have a period
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