"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
