I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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