Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
