He felt like a one man threesome
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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