how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it glows. i had to have it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
MIDGETS
????
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
