The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The ass gains better be worth it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
