It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
