Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
