walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
