"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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