It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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