I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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