the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
