can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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