And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
