It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
