I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
