i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
