How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
