After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
