Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
