and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
