You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm getting married
To pizza
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
