somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
