Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
