i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
