And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
