She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
